Mister Green

Election 2004

I have been racking my brain trying to decide who to endorse in this year's presidential election. I've decided to quit "polishing" my announcement, and just give it to you straight. Here goes.

At long last, the coveted Mr. Green endorsement for president can be announced. Never before in the history of our nation has there been such an important choice. Our nation stands at a crossroads, with its ongoing character, perhaps even its very survival, at stake.

[Name X] is clearly the candidate with the right vision for the nation. He is [desirable quality]. He is not at all [undesirable quality], as is [name Y]. If, God forbid, [name Y] is elected, it may very well be the end of the world as we know it. That may sound like a strong statement, but I’ll back it up. [Name Y]’s promised policy of [policy] would clearly lead to [undesirable result]. Would you want to live in a country where [undesirable result] is the order of the day? Neither would I.

And besides, I just read on [extremist website] that [name Y] may have [extremely bad thing] with [extremely bad people]. Or had sex with a goat. Is this a person who can be trusted? I think not.

[Name X] is a proven, experienced leader who will provide a much-needed dose of [desirable thing] in these troubled times. He will definitely [vague something]. [Platitude]. [Non sequitor]. [Platitude]. Join the winning team and vote for [name X] on November 2.

Posted by Mr Green at July 23, 2004 10:20 AM