Mister Green

Nigeria III

I think he's getting too wary, so I go for the throat.

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From: Barrister Bello Yakubu
To: Mr. Green
Date: Sat, 20 Dec 2003 05:46:52 -0500
Subject: Fine.

I will be expecting your call today. Maybe we would talk.
Regards,
Bello.

BARRISTER BELLO YAKUBU
CHIEF CONSULTANT.
BELLO AND MAY CHAMBERS.
PHONE: 234-803-3262345.

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From: Mr. Green
To: Barrister Bello Yakubu
Date: Sat, 20 Dec 2003 21:01:58 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Re: Fine.

We have much to discuss, my friend. Unfortunately, as I may have mentioned, I do not have the means to contact you via telephone until such time as my great bitch of a favorite aunt expires at the last and leaves me some funds. But in the meantime, I must share with you a perplexity.

I was visiting the home of my friend Steve along with my friend Bartman. These two are always talking about their dream of becoming purveyors of only the finest of imported dildos and cock rings – in short, of opening a Mrs. Dildo franchise. Once more these buffoons subjected me to their prattling on the subject of how they are to make their fortunes by plying such trade, and I had heard enough. Striving to be as cool as the cucumber, I said to them that I was going to make millions by helping my friend Bello Yakubu, the great Nigerian barrister, depose of the funds of his client. Well, much to my surprise, they commenced to a laughing the likes of which I have rarely heard!

When my confusion was laid plain, Bartman told me that your letter to me was an example of something called a “Nigerian Scam”! He said that if I were fool enough to give you the information about a banking account which I were to open, that you would invent many clever reasons why I should deposit funds for you to take. Such as the bribing of the officials, and the fees of the funds transfer, and the like. I patiently explained to him that Bello and I were like the brothers born to different mothers, and that you needed me to help you as much as I need you to help me. I told them that it was you who would deposit the funds that I was to take for my own, after of course you took your share! It was then that Steve laid upon my pants a shock that I thought should lay them tattered and in all ways bare.

He turned on his computer and accessed his email account, and lo! He showed me an email from one Bello Yakubu of Nigeria! It was the exact same message that you had first sent to me! And as I tried to defend your honor to the laughing of these jadegolds, it only made them laugh the harder!

Bello, my face increased in redness as my trousers slackened. I do not want to believe the things they said to me, but I saw with my own eyes the email which Steve had received from you. Are you looking for other partners? For I felt as though we had made a bondage, and for you to be talking to others now makes me think you have forgotten the pants of your father.

I urgently await the clarification on these matters.

Yours truly,

Mr. Green

Posted by Mr Green at December 20, 2003 11:08 PM