Mister Green

Losing the Bet

Okay. So, I work with this guy who I will refer to here as the Deceitful Little Bastard (DLB), for reasons that will soon become apparent. I have worked with DLB for two and a half years, and in that period he has made it in to work on time fewer than 10 times. And that's padding it enough to be safe. It's probably closer to 5. That DLB is going to be late is just a fact of life in my office. The only question is whether it will be by a few minutes or a few hours. And this is a man who's start time is 9 AM!

So a few weeks ago we were discussing (over a fairly large number of beers after work) the new yoga classes that were being offered at work. DLB said he was going to sign up for the weekly 7 AM sessions. That's eight sessions in all, once a week. I laughed and told him he was wasting whatever money he was spending on the signup fee, as there was no way he was ever going to make it to a single one. He immediately proposed a bet: He would make it to every class on time. If he did, I had to do 10 shots. If he failed, he had to do 10 shots. Winner's choice, loser's tab.

Now, remember his punctuality track record as described above. Also to consider is the fact that I am 6'5" tall and weigh about 265 pounds. DLB is maybe 5'8" and 175. If I had to do 10 shots, not such a big deal. It wouldn't be pretty, but as long as I didn't do them all at once it wouldn't be a problem. Him doing 10 shots would be interesting, most likely colorful (in a very bad and literal way) & highly amusing, and would teach him a valuable lesson about making sure-fire losing bets. No significant downside risk for me - all upside! I laughed at him again, and did a pretty fair amount of beer-fueled taunting in front of about a dozen co-workers.

I think you can all see where this is going.

Of course, DLB did in fact make it to every one, the SOB. I would have laid 10-1 odds he would have been late to the very first one. Even after he made the first 7, I didn't think I was going to lose. Come on! This is DLB we're talking about! From this I can only conclude that he has been planning this moment for two and a half years, lulling me into a false sense of security by being chronically late. Hence his identifying acronym.

So I'm going to take my medicine, but I'm going to be planning a makeup bet sometime soon. Maybe a similar bet, but this time I'll sneak over to his house one morning, jack up his car, and borrow a couple of his tires.

It's not cheating; it's being resourceful.

Posted by Mr Green at September 8, 2003 08:19 PM