August 20, 2006

This has got to be a joke

Surely this is a put-on. If I wanted to make Christians and anti-feminists look bad, I would start a blog and write what this guy writes. But I know I couldn't do it half as well as the estimable Verlch.

Start off with the blog's subtitle:

Join The Largest Group set against the lefts Brain Washing of the West's women, to leave their homes, children and husbands, to work for and pay taxes (in some cases abort the most helpless amoung us) to the Corporate Machine.

Inconsistent capitalization: check
Inconsistent use of the apostrophe: check
Misspelled words: check
General incoherence: check

I like a subtitle like that. It sets the tone, lets us know what we can expect. Now there is a whole lot to be enjoyed here, so let's just use one entry as an example. Take this gem.

Until you have watched your house, become her house, your kid, become your every two week kid, don't trip on Nice Guy because you don't think he can get girls.

Yes, I think, we all know, what, that is, like. But I did trip on Nice Guy once. I apologized. He was cool about it.

But finding a girl that fills your soul with joy in America is like finding a needle amongst needles.

Finding a needle amongst needles? I think he's implying it would be difficult. But if you've already got a bunch of needles then wouldn't it be a trivial task to find one? Maybe once you get to a certain level of batshit crazy it's not so easy. Maybe you don't even have any needles but are instead sitting at a table in McDonald's, rummaging through your fries, muttering dire oaths under your breath about finding the damned needle, until frightened patrons tell the cashier to call the police. Then you are picked up and involuntarily committed. And just try grabbing a needle while straight jacketed. It hovers six inches from your nose, but every time you lunge at it, it recedes just as quickly. Cruel, wicked needle, taunting us so.

There are women the world over, probably 87% of them that would date me, make me babies and treat me like a king for my truck!!!

Well, I estimate that 94% of the world's women would date me, make me babies, and treat me like an emperor for my wireless router! (!!) But I don't like to brag.

AW [American Women, I think] are prone to the lazy pill.

Gee, I'm starting to get the idea that this guy is a little bitter because he only meets women from the 13% who, inexplicably, won't date him, make him babies, or treat him like a king for his truck. I mean, have they seen the truck? How can you not make a baby for a man who drives a truck like that? You think they sell that kind of truck to just anybody who walks through the door with enough money? What do you mean they do? Take that back! And get your creepy feminist hands away from my needle! Mother told me about all the nastygerms you girls carry! Unclean! Unclean!

Posted by Mr Green at August 20, 2006 10:47 AM | TrackBack

Wow! What a man! Where was he when I was single and couldn't find "Mr. Right"? (To think, I settled for a guy without a truck!) Seriously, I read a little of his blog, and, all laughter aside, from the way he talks, my guess is that there's an ex-Mrs. Verlch out there (and maybe little Verlchs, too). My heart goes out to them, for having to deal with him in the real world!

Posted by: Mrs. Green at August 21, 2006 08:18 PM

Yap, yap, yap. Don't make me go upside your head, woman. Shaddup and get in the truck.

Posted by: Mr. Green at August 21, 2006 08:20 PM

WHAT truck?!! I think you've been reading about Mr. Verlch's fantasy world too much. It's time to come back to the real world now. (And I think we both know who's in charge here!)

Posted by: Mrs. Green (for now) at August 21, 2006 08:26 PM

No, I know Verlch personally. He has been married for 6 years. What has gotten him upset is the mere thought of divorce. Did you know women get custody 90% of the time. Men are reduced to sperm donors and wallets, its time the laws were changed.

Posted by: Manly Man at August 26, 2006 05:24 AM

You would think equal women who can do anything a man can do and better, wouldn't need alimony and child support to exist.

Although having such programs clearly illustrates just how dependant women really are on men, the government, affirmative action, etc.

Why do 75% of working women, work in poverty wage jobs. Hardly the pinnacle of independence from mammon. Actually more like dependence on elite mammon, and a servant through taxation and inflation. IQ check, nut check, are your brains working?

Posted by: Manly Man at August 26, 2006 01:38 PM


Posted by: Mr. Green at August 27, 2006 08:55 AM

A conversation from Vox:

Finally proof that the Patriarch is full of bull!

"My wife drones on all day about work aswell. She even goes so far as to want me to show up so she can parade me around the office. I don't want to go there, these women see the best of me, and I'm sure hear the worst."
Patriarch Verlch | Homepage | 08.26.06 - 4:10 pm | #

Now, I thought about this statement because I have been to the site of Verlch, and he has stated that hiswife is a slob who sits around the house and does nothing...and always has. Then, he says she has a job? Surely, he would never allow such a thing...because of his strong beliefs.

On his blog is this question:
"What does your wife so during the day anyway?"

"Cleans the house. Shops, and makes me dinner."

This poor guy...first he lies to some little waitress in Hooters and now to us...

Posted by: Sarah at August 27, 2006 06:37 PM

What does that have to do with anything?

Focus on the issues Mister, the issues!!!

Posted by: Manly Man at August 29, 2006 12:19 PM

My wife also cleans in between my toes with her tongue. You thought American women weren't that caring did you?

Posted by: Patriarch Verlch at August 29, 2006 10:59 PM

What does that have to do with anything?

Focus on the issues Mister, the issues!

Being a lying sack is very important!

Posted by: at August 31, 2006 11:19 PM