December 19, 2005

What the Radio Tought Me This Morning

This is how the news led on Chicago news radio 780 AM at 5:30 this morning: Bush made a speech last night about Iraq. Republicans liked it, Democrats didn't. Lots and lots of Americans have been killed there. Some more were killed yesterday. An American hostage was killed. Insurgants set off a car bomb at a children's hospital that killed two people. An Illinois woman who lost her legs when the helicopter she was piloting in Iraq was shot down is now running for Congress as a Democrat. She says the insurgants in Iraq think we're there for the oil. She wants to be elected so she can vote to never send our soldiers into harm's way for the wrong reasons, like we did in Iraq. "And as if the Bush White House needed any more problems," some Socialist who may have just been elected in Bolivia is promising to be "America's worst nightmare". He's promising to end an American-sponsored program to destroy coca production.

I think they may have also wanted to report on how many Iraqis died of old age yesterday and how Bush just let them die, some guy in Ohio said Bush is a "big doody-head", Diane Feinstein worries that Bush is dining on the flesh of women and minorities, and as if Bush needed any more problems, the guy who lost the last election in Outer Turdistan promises that if he is elected next time, he will have a huge Bush Hatin' Celebration at which Turds will fire guns into the air and chant anti-American slogans while waving large mocking puppets of Bush.

But they only had five or six minutes to hit the very most important stuff because they needed a commercial break before "traffic on the 8's" rolled around at 5:38.

Posted by Mr Green at December 19, 2005 06:06 AM | TrackBack