July 14, 2004

I'm kicking someone's ass!

From the Chicago Tribune (registration required):

The former chairwoman of the New York State Democratic Party on Wednesday called it "a total outrage" and "very stupid" that Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has not been offered a prominent speaking role at the Democratic National Convention.

"It's a slap in the face, not personally for Hillary Clinton, but for every woman in the Democratic Party and every woman in America," said Judith Hope, a major party fund-raiser.

If Hillary's omission is a slap in the face to every woman in America, then the inclusion of Christie Vilsack, wife of Iowa governor Tom Vilsack, must then be a punch in the mouth. Or a kick in the shins. Or something.

Who the hell do these bastards think they are, that they can just come up and slap or punch or kick or otherwise cause bodily harm to my wife, my mother, or even my poor 98-year-old grandmother? What kind of a monster picks on a defenseless old woman?

This will not stand. As soon as I figure out who's responsible for this, they're going to be in some serious pain. Unless they change their minds and let Hillary speak, which would be like a soothing application of an expensive cosmetic product to the face of American womanhood. In which case, we cool.

Posted by Mr Green at July 14, 2004 03:45 PM

I think you mean a cooling application of aloe. I just had a sunburn, you see, so even if I'm not a woman, I feel qualified to opine.

By the way, that was hilarious.

Posted by: Random Penseur at July 24, 2004 10:16 AM