May 10, 2004

Denial, River, Egypt, Etc.

From the Free Lance-Star (whatever that is), comes an epistle from one Linda Wall of Concerned Women for Making America a Theocracy, Praise Jesus (Concerned Women for America for short), titled "Why is it so wrong to oppose homosexual behavior?"

Recently, there have been marches and debates in support of same-sex marriages in the Fredericksburg area. From college students all the way down to kindergartners, seduction into an unhealthy behavior is occurring in the schools of our state and our nation.

As a former lesbian who serves on the steering committee of Concerned Women for America of Virginia, I must share some truth on the subject to residents in the Fredericksburg area.

I was a college coed minding my own heterosexual life when an older woman seduced me into homosexual behavior. Oh, it started out "gay" and exciting, but the day came when I wanted out.

I know exactly what she's talking about. This is really painful for me to talk about, but... I am also a former homosexual. Yes, it's true. I was in college, minding my own healthy, normal, heterosexual business, and next thing you know I was giving the best blowjobs in the Midwest. I was young and confused, his name was Raoul, and when he introduced himself and shook my hand some of his gay rubbed off on me and was absorbed through my skin. All of a sudden, I was no longer engaging in regular manly pursuits such as drinking beer and scratching myself, but was instead skipping class to hang out in the numerous gay bathhouses of rural Indiana and listening to Bette Midler. Oh sure, it started out "gay" and exciting, but the day came when I wanted out. (But I was already "out", so I guess I wanted back "in". I couldn't think "straight".) And so I got out, and now I am a sexually repressed hypocritical liar who wants to use the legal system to inflict the morality by which I pretend to live on everybody else, because that's easier than accepting the truth about myself.

What's so wrong about that?

Posted by Mr Green at May 10, 2004 10:58 PM

The numerous gay bathhouses of rural Indiana?

Posted by: frinklin at May 11, 2004 12:00 AM

I think he means pig troughs that doubled as gay bathhouses. Common mistake.

Posted by: Simon at May 11, 2004 01:13 AM

Hey, rural Indiana is a swinging, decadent place.

Posted by: Mr. Green at May 11, 2004 06:22 PM

We'll have to ask Susie. She's from there, managing a movie thea... Hey, I wonder!

Posted by: Ted at May 12, 2004 06:50 AM