February 07, 2004

Game Time

Snood is a simple but highly addictive game, a little like Tetris. There are seven different "snoods" it gives you to shoot from your gun, but sometimes not the ones you need. At the “Evil” difficulty level, I swear it intentionally tries to screw you up - the distribution of snoods it gives you seems distinctly un-random. Here’s a conversation between me and what I imagine the game would say as it gives me new snoods to shoot.

Snood: Here. Have a triangle.

Mr. Green: I don’t need a triangle. In fact, it’s the one thing that does me no good at all right now. I’ll just toss it over to the side there.

S: Have a triangle.

MG: Damn. Really need a square. [Tosses it over there next to the other one.]

S: Have another triangle.

MG: Sigh. Well, at least I get rid of the first two. [Shoots it at first two, all three vanish.]

S: Guess what? I’ve got a triangle with your name on it!

MG: Thanks. Asshole. Back over to the side.

S: Touchy, touchy. How about a nice blue ball?

MG: Not what I was looking for, but at least it’s not another fucking triangle. Now, c’mon, gimme a square. Square!

S: Here’s a square for you. Wait – did I say square? I meant triangle.

MG: [Seethes.] I’m gonna put this one over by the other, but if you don’t give me a square soon I’m going to lose.

S: Gosh, that’s sad. I’m getting all weepy. Would you hold on to this triangle while I look for a tissue?

MG: I am just about out of patience, you fucking piece of… [Deep breath.] A triangle would be lovely, thanks. [Shoots it at first two, all three vanish.]

S: See? You talk nice, I take care of you. Here’s a square.

MG: Thank God. [Shoots, misses other squares that would have dropped about 40 snoods from the middle of the screen.] Fuckity fuck fuck fuck! FUCK! Now I need another one to fix this mistake…

S: Nice shootin’, Tex! That’s really funny. Let’s see if I’ve got another square…. Nope. But I’ve got a nice fresh tri-

MG: [Kills game. Imagines program screaming as it is dumped from memory.] That's right, tough guy! Who's your daddy? WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!!

Posted by Mr Green at February 7, 2004 09:07 PM

I downloaded this game and it made me a terrorist.

Posted by: Bad Commie at February 9, 2004 02:08 PM

Hahahahahahaha....:-) That was great, but I am worried about those who are still using the "Who's your daddy" yell. Perhaps you need some 'time on the couch'???

Great blog...thanks!

Posted by: radtec at February 18, 2004 02:31 PM

So, who is your daddy?

Ignore me, I'm not really here...

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 20, 2004 09:45 PM

Ummm... See, I'm too busy with my work on... curing cancer! Yeah, too busy curing cancer to stay current on what pop-culture phrases are still in use.

Oh, all right. I'm just lame.

Posted by: Mr. Green at February 26, 2004 03:56 PM