Mister Green

Quiz Time

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you live in Chicago. It is approximately a million degrees below zero outside, and you would like to start a fire in the fireplace. Do you:

A) First check the flue, opening it if necessary, or;
B) Assume that the flue must be closed because you had a conversation with your spouse some weeks ago in which it was determined that you were going to keep it shut when not in use. So you use the poker to flip the flue-handle thingy to what must QED be the “open” position, and fire that baby up.

If you answered A, congratulations! That is the correct answer.

If you answered B, then here is your double-or-nothing bonus question. Upon smelling smoke in the room and tracing the source to the fireplace and your nice, warm fire, do you:

A) Get down on your hands and knees, look into the fireplace, and use the poker to reopen the flue, or;
B) Get up on a chair to unplug the smoke detector, open a window, and place a frantic call to your spouse’s cell phone to summon him home to fix the problem before a neighbor calls the fire department.

If you answered A, congratulations! That’s correct.

If you answered B, then I completely understand how you could make such a mistake, especially when your ass of a husband left the flue open. It’s really all his fault, and I would never dream of making fun of you, because I am a kind and sensitive man.

NOTE: This post is based on a purely hypothetical situation, which is entirely fictitious. Any resemblance between this 100% made-up story and actual events which transpired in my home this evening is purely coincidental.

Posted by Mr Green at January 31, 2004 12:02 AM