September 30, 2003

Raising the glass to Blackfive

Blackfive links to me today as a blogger he'd like to drink with. The feeling is reciprocated, even when he's not buying. (But that always helps.)

When he talks about bourbon, BBQ, and a new carpet, he may be referring to a story I told him about the time my friend Pancho was over at my place and we were drinking. I'm not sure what all we drank, but I know it involved bourbon, scotch, and beer. Yeah, just like the song, but I wish we had kept it to just one of each. Instead, the two of us drank several bourbons, several scotches, and several beers. In so doing we got stupidly, catastrophically bombed. We sat out on the patio while we attempted alcoholic suicide, and I made barbequed ribs on the grill.

Somehow in the course of sitting on the living room floor and trying to manage enough physical coordination to feed himself, Pancho sat in his plate of ribs. Then when he realized what he had done, instead of just standing up, he sort of half-slid half-rolled off the plate, ensuring a nice even distribution of sauce on his pants and the carpet. If he had been trying to paint the floor with his ass, he couldn't have done a more effective job.

All we could do was laugh helplessly while Mrs. Green, who had not been drinking and was therefore already somewhat irritated with me on general principle, tried to be upset and instead just started laughing herself at what an idiot he was.

I'll have more Pancho stories later, but they're all strikingly similar: We get plastered, he gets helpless, hilarity ensues. He has only one story on me in which I do something stupid, but if he wants to tell it he can get his own damn blog. And by that time I will have trashed his credibility to the point that nobody will believe him anyway. Preemption: It's not just for foreign policy any more.

Posted by Mr Green at September 30, 2003 02:53 PM