September 27, 2003

I will fear no evil

All right, people. The epic showdown between light and darkness is almost upon us. Saturday, at 2:30 PM Eastern time. The gruesome, misshapen, troglodytic, subhuman, imbecilic monstrosities of Notre Dame face off against our heroes, the very embodiment of all that is right and good in this world, the Purdue Boilermakers.

I wish I could be optimistic about this. Purdue is clearly the better team this year, and is favored by 10. But the Luck of the Irish™ always seems to kick in for them. Last year, a Purdue running back got tackled and just dropped the ball – it wasn’t stripped, he just plain put it on the ground. A Notre Dame player scooped it up and ran in untouched. Then on the ensuing kickoff, the ball bounced off the Purdue return man and flew right into the arms of a Notre Dame guy at the 5 yard line, who jogged into the end zone. Purdue was down 14 points in a heartbeat and never recovered. I know the saying, “You make your own luck”. But this was truly random chance. And it always seems to be that way.

So I expect a heartbreaker tomorrow. To steel myself against this outcome, I intend to be completely in the bag before kickoff, with liberal applications of bourbon as needed during the game. This may not be, technically speaking, a good coping strategy. But I've never been one to let that stop me before.

Posted by Mr Green at September 27, 2003 12:35 AM